An ANC-Style Roadmap
- March 8, 2025: Project Launch - Postponed due to no liquor license. "Apartheid's fault!"
- April 8, 2025: ICO Chaos - Half the funds vanish to "Tenderpreneur69." Audit promised, never delivered.
- May 8, 2025: Development Stalls - Team debates Zulu vs. Afrikaans coding. Zero progress.
- June 8, 2025: Marketing Misstep - Billboards feature Zuma, not Elon. Royalties demanded.
- July 8, 2025: Fake Partnerships - Eskom "deal" with a janitor flops amid power cuts.
- August 8, 2025: Token Heist - 90% of tokens nabbed by "Comrade Chairperson." Blame colonial hackers.
- September 8, 2025: Community Flop - Q&A fails; "Sweet Mother" plays on loop.
- October 8, 2025: Security Scandal - Password "ANC123" hacked by a kid for airtime.
- November 8, 2025: Bribery Blunder - Useless tokens offered; official sues and wins a tender.
- December 8, 2025: Grand Collapse - Gold-plated Elon bust stolen. "The Great BEE-trayal."
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